Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Square Peg, Round Hole Relationships

This one gets a lot of very emotional, animated, and occasionally angry responses. But, it’s just how I feel. I had a friend email me the other day and ask about marriage. "Does it suck? Is there sex? Everyone I know who is married is miserable and tells me horror stories."

This is not the first time it’s been asked, and it’s not the last time it'll be asked, but my answer, is always the same.

I have been married for 7 years, 8 this coming October, and here is my philosophy on the bitties that hate being married and don't get laid. Marriage is only hard if you're married to the wrong person. (That's right I said it, don't hate) I call it my square peg, round hole relationship theory.

I don't believe that relationships take work...if they take work...it’s the wrong person. Sure you compromise sometimes, on the little things, as with any friendship. What you never compromise is WHO you are, because if you can't be yourself at home, with the person who knows you best and loves you the most.....then where do you decompress, and be yourself.

Here's the thing, if you're with the right person its not work to be with them. If you're in a solid relationship, that relationship doesn't take a magical turn for the worst when you get the legal paperwork, it also won't magically get better. It is what it is regardless of if you are actually married. We spend time together and have a little time apart. Some shared interest some totally different. We have sex (which is saying something considering now we have a kid AND we're married *gasp*) I do not feel claustrophobic in my house, and I do not feel like I need to escape.

My husband and I met working retail. We started dating in October, were engaged by April, and married the following October on our one year anniversary. I'm sure there were a lot of people that figured we were to young, too head strong, too quick, and probably knocked up. Sometimes, you just know something is right, deep down in the gut. (Listen to that gut, it'll tell you when something's wrong too) I've loved every minute of our journey so far, and I'm looking forward to many more adventures.

I imagine, that being married is no different than living with someone, aside from the legal aspects. Of course there's the awkward transitional months at the beginning where you have to get used to having someone in your space....but I love being married...I wouldn't change it for the world. Anyone who say's otherwise needs to examine their relationship closely. There's something very comforting about knowing you have a partner ready to hold your hand and walk through the fire, or picnic in a park, or dance in a meadow if needed.

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person."

Friday, April 23, 2010

I think I'll start a blog....

I've never blogged before, so, bear with me as I learn the ropes. I had several conversations with friends and family today that ended with the phrase “you should blog about it”. I thought to myself, who cares? Who will read it? Well….maybe no one. I guess we will see.

I suppose I’ll write a little about everything; Recipes, thoughts, pets, kids, husbands, houses, cars, and life in general. But today, I’m going to start with food.

How awesome is food! I love food! I love to eat it, cook it, learn about it, read about it…and apparently, blog about it. I’ve recently made a huge change in my family’s diet. We went….dun dun dun….organic.

There were several reasons for this. One was that I had to write a paper for my environmental science class, and I chose to write it on the food industry. There is stuff going on from factory to plate that would make your toes curl, but I’ll ease you into that. Another reason was the more I got into cooking and putting food together myself, the less I understood all those giant scientific terms on the side of the boxes of prepackaged food at the market.

The changes came slowly. First, we gave up trans-fat. Easy enough, no partially hydrogenated anything. Then, high-fructose corn syrup went bye-bye. (Do you know how many things have high-fructose corn syrup?) We threw milk with hormones out the window. We gave up fast food. Then, we saw Fast Food Nation, and Food, Inc. I read The Righteous Porkchop, and lots of interesting (and disgusting) journal articles on the food industry.

Sometimes I feel like I’m in a science fiction movie and the whole world has microchips in their brains so they don’t notice how bad it really is, and then my microchip broke. I’ve discovered there are whole groups of people out there now with broken microchips. I also know a lot of people that choose not to know. “Ignorance is Bliss” I suppose. Once my eyes were opened to it, I couldn’t go back. I won’t eat meat that isn’t grass fed, and antibiotic and hormone free. (Which, for the record makes it very difficult to eat anywhere but at home) My eggs are free range, and vegetarian. Now they shouldn’t have to label the eggs as being from vegetarian chickens right? Aren’t chickens vegetarians? Well…..they should be…unfortunately, a lot of times they aren’t…and that’s a whole new realm of gross.

I feel better knowing when I pack my daughters lunch, and make dinner, that I am giving her the best start and highest quality food I can. Will she go through life never eating a Dorito….certainly not. She’ll go to birthday parties, and snatch one from a kid at school. But what I can do is help her make the best decisions she can at home, and keep her informed. Plus, the food decisions we make, lessen our impact on the environment as a whole….SCORE. Two for one!

I will tell you, that after having gone natural/organic I feel better. I’m less lethargic. The 2 o’clock slump is not a regular visitor, I sleep better, and my skin is better. We’ve changed more than food now; we opt for natural cleaners, store bought and home-made. We try to get more products made in America. All of our body products are natural.

I’m sure I’ll slip some icky fact filled blogs in occasionally, but for now I’ll just keep blogging along. Maybe someday someone will read it. For now, I will just write about what interests me most. Food, family and environment, which amazingly all go hand in hand, and as the wonderful Julia Child said. “Find something you're passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.” And so I shall.