Its The Simple Things

Why do people try to make everything bigger, better, and more complicated than needed?  Can we not appreciate the little things in life anymore; the simple, perfect, wonderful things?  It seems like everyone wants everything faster and grander than necessary.  I'm guilty of this too...I suppose it is the mentality of Americans, or maybe people in general.  We want bigger houses, faster shinier cars, bigger better everything.  But why?  When we're children we know how to find happiness in a bubble, running through a field, a boquet of weeds, and jumping on the bed.  When does that change? 

Today was perfect.  My kind of perfect.  What did I do today that was so super fantastic you may ask?  Well, we celebrated mother's day.  I slept in a little, I cleaned the kitchen, and did a couple loads of laundry, then my husband and daughter went to run errands, and I took a nap on the couch.  (that in and of itself is super-fantastic)  I woke up when they returned, but since I could hear giggles and whispering I kept my eyes closed, and snoozed.  When they woke me I found my laptop with a happy mother's day note written in the paint program, a new cookbook (The Rodale Whole Foods Cookbook), and a card my daughter drew for me.  My husband had made me various coupons for dinner out, a trip to the beach, a trip to whole foods (SCORE), and foot and back massages.  I asked my daughter what she drew in the picture (she's 4) and she said that was her, and a giant mommy worm.  Well...it's original...and I LOVE IT! 

We went to a cute pizza place (courtesy of my dinner out coupon) and made a trip to Whole Foods (coupon again) so I could get some ingredients to make something out of my new cookbook.  It was the perfect night.  When we got home we watched a movie, and had popcorn on the couch.  We all four (dog included) hung out and ate popcorn and spent time together.  It was an amazing day.  I appreciated every moment of it, that's when it hit me.  How often do we just sit back and appreciate what we have; without the more, more, better, bigger thoughts?  Think about it....Think about what you have.  Does your mind automatically go to getting something new? 

Was it an expensive day? Not particularly.  Did I get that worm composter I've really been wanting?  Nope.  Was it a whine free day?  (of course not...did I mention she's four?)  But I got everything I truly wanted and needed; a day with my family, time with my little girl, cuddles on the couch, and a warm heart full of gratitude.  Sometimes, we just need to learn to be content.  Life has a funny way of showing us that happiness is found in the simple things.

"I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may be;for I have learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions,and not upon our circumstances"~Martha Washington

Square Peg, Round Hole Relationships

This one gets a lot of very emotional, animated, and occasionally angry responses. But, it’s just how I feel. I had a friend email me the other day and ask about marriage. "Does it suck? Is there sex? Everyone I know who is married is miserable and tells me horror stories."

This is not the first time it’s been asked, and it’s not the last time it'll be asked, but my answer, is always the same.

I have been married for 7 years, 8 this coming October, and here is my philosophy on the bitties that hate being married and don't get laid. Marriage is only hard if you're married to the wrong person. (That's right I said it, don't hate) I call it my square peg, round hole relationship theory.

I don't believe that relationships take work...if they take work...it’s the wrong person. Sure you compromise sometimes, on the little things, as with any friendship. What you never compromise is WHO you are, because if you can't be yourself at home, with the person who knows you best and loves you the most.....then where do you decompress, and be yourself.

Here's the thing, if you're with the right person its not work to be with them. If you're in a solid relationship, that relationship doesn't take a magical turn for the worst when you get the legal paperwork, it also won't magically get better. It is what it is regardless of if you are actually married. We spend time together and have a little time apart. Some shared interest some totally different. We have sex (which is saying something considering now we have a kid AND we're married *gasp*) I do not feel claustrophobic in my house, and I do not feel like I need to escape.

My husband and I met working retail. We started dating in October, were engaged by April, and married the following October on our one year anniversary. I'm sure there were a lot of people that figured we were to young, too head strong, too quick, and probably knocked up. Sometimes, you just know something is right, deep down in the gut. (Listen to that gut, it'll tell you when something's wrong too) I've loved every minute of our journey so far, and I'm looking forward to many more adventures.

I imagine, that being married is no different than living with someone, aside from the legal aspects. Of course there's the awkward transitional months at the beginning where you have to get used to having someone in your space....but I love being married...I wouldn't change it for the world. Anyone who say's otherwise needs to examine their relationship closely. There's something very comforting about knowing you have a partner ready to hold your hand and walk through the fire, or picnic in a park, or dance in a meadow if needed.

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,

always with the same person."